Untold Stories: One earth, one humanity, one future with Libby Traubman
Wisdom and experience are gifts to bathe in. These gifts were offered last week on our October Community Call with Libby Traubman. Listening to Libby share her peace leader's path (alongside her late husband, Len) reminded me that this work is for everyone and it can span a lifetime! Thank you, Libby, for telling your story with insight, humor, and grounded authenticity.
The following are excerpts from Libby Traubman’s presentation
(00:09:00) Libby: “I’m really honored to be here with Euphrates friends and to have this opportunity to share about my journey, my life story, but more importantly why I would talk about it is I feel it is so important to be an activist. And I’m going to be 81 very soon, so for more than 50 years I’ve been an activist doing something of some sort…”
Libby opened by sharing about how meaningful a lifetime path of activism has been. She offered a brief anecdote about how, at the end of her journey, she hopes to be “all used up” and how that keeps her going in activism. She continued on with a story about attending the International Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, Tennessee, United States. She viewed a tape about Kathryn Tucker Windham and life in Appalachia and lessons from her father on the ‘four L’s.’ Libby resonated with her story, and borrowed her technique of sharing her story through the use of the letter L.
(00:12:33) Libby: “Not surprising, the first L is Listening. As a social worker, my profession was all about listening. Who are you? Tell me your story? Listening doesn’t usually come naturally and is kind of a lost art. Learning how to listen takes practice and a willingness to hold the silent space. Learning how to be a good listener was certainly important not only in my own profession but also equally if not more important in my marriage and as a parent. I recall one time when our daughter was visiting home from college her freshman year. When she came down to the kitchen one morning and was saying she was kind of lamenting and having some problems and tearful...so I started giving her motherly advice and she said, ‘I just want you to listen. I have all the answers right inside of me.’ That was more than 30 years ago and I still remember that conversation.”
Libby shared about her and her late husband Len’s early years of activism. Their journey began with activism centered on their children, educating about television violence and drug and alcohol abuse. They participated in peace marches, especially in support of youth working on the climate crisis. In the 1980s they began a group named Beyond War, an educational movement to change the way of thinking about how to resolve conflict. They traveled to the Soviet Union participating in dialogues, and engaged in dialogue work between Palestinians and Jews.
(00:20:42) Libby: “In 1991, responding to the call for continuing Dialogue, we started the Jewish Palestinian Living Room Dialogue in our home. That was 30 years ago and more than 325 meetings of face-to-face relationship building activities that are continuing today. The first meetings intended to be more about blaming the other, borders and boundaries, historical facts, and all things causing friction and alienation. Soon we realized again that you can’t talk about these serious issues without knowing who is in the circle. Why are you here? Tell me your story. Why does this have so much meaning for you? So we started over. And we spent a number of sessions and months just hearing each person’s personal narrative and depth. It wasn’t until we made that heart connection that participants could begin to trust each other, and then to see each other as human and equal. This was a demonstration that Listening is one of the great acts of love and that is when the healing can begin.”
They hosted a dinner-dialogue for 420 Palestinians and Jews in San Francisco, California, United States. They also created and lead a Jewish Palestinian Family Peace Makers Camp for five summers.
(00:25:31) Libby: “The second L is Learning. Sometimes learning is difficult especially when hearing something we don’t believe or understand. Also, we could learn things about ourselves we may not like...What I learned was that even though I have my own story and my own world view, which is important because it shaped who I am, it is a very limited view. Every person has a unique life experience unlike any other. So I have something to learn from each person, especially those from a different race, religion, or ethnicity and those differences actually are what make life more interesting, colorful, and enriching. I can learn something about life from everyone, No exceptions. You could say “A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose!”
Libby shared about growing up in the 1940s & 1950s in Indiana, United States and the worldview she was exposed to, and how that began to transform. Libby believes everyday is an opportunity to learn something new.
(00:27:43) Libby: “One thing I learned many years ago that shapes everything that I do is that we are all interdependent, interconnected, and interrelated...I believe that my actions or perhaps lack of action does have an effect. I can choose to be part of the solution which means taking action, responding to the challenges to be learning how to live a more sustainable lifestyle, or how to help build a more fair, just, and equal society. Being an activist means responding to each situation. Or being an activist might mean doing something totally unexpected for another person or group.”
“It wasn’t until we made that heart connection that participants could begin to trust each other, and then to see each other as human and equal. This was a demonstration that Listening is one of the great acts of love and that is when the healing can begin.”
In 2010, Libby and Len were invited to Abuja, Nigeria to engage in dialogue work with Muslims and Christians who were in violent conflict over land and resources. They were seeking tools to end alienation and violence. Through this experience, Libby and Len expanded their work and stepped outside of their comfort zone - learning much about themselves, about stepping into the unknown, and about working with others in a new environment. “At the core, or perhaps at the soul level, we experienced our common humanity, and the desire to be loved and to love.”
(00:31:36) Libby: “The third L is Laughing, which also means experiencing joy and fun which helps prevent burn out and even depression and that sense of hopelessness that many activists talk about. Like enjoying a tasty meal together, laughing is a great way to share our humanity. You can’t really hate someone with whom you’ve shared a good laugh. It’s important to be able to laugh at ourselves, as well.
Libby recalled humorous moments when in conference with Armenians and Azeris that brought levity to the group. And the power of a ‘talent night’ in Abuja, Nigeria in which participants sang, danced, shared stories, and performed skits. Libby noted this release of joy and laughing is important to the healing process.
(00:34:23) Libby: “And the fourth L is Loving. Love is one of those words that conjures up all sorts of meaning and images from schmaltzy to romantic to a deep and powerful feeling of connection and gratitude. You might say love is making that soul connection to Life. For me, learning to love in every situation means listening from the heart. To stay open to new ideas and new ways of looking at Life. Sometimes it requires tough love, like holding to the highest principles in very challenging situations like facing anger or hurt. I believe that Love is a way more powerful weapon to bring about peace and relationships than weapons of war.”
Working in dialogue, activism, and the focus of listening and storytelling brought Libby and Len into schools, universities, interfaith settings, and communities all around the world. Libby believes being an activist doesn’t require wealth, though some people can contribute donations to important causes, but it is important to be generous of spirit.
(00:37:00) Libby: “To conclude, I will add one more brief L, Looking forward. During these very challenging days, it is important to look forward and to anticipate what kind of a future we all wish to help create. As an elder, I have had some experience with what works and what does not. These past couple of years have exposed many things that need to change for there to be a meaningful and a safe future for our children and grandchildren. One big unknown is if we humans will have the will to change what isn’t working. If we understand that our choices and our actions will determine what the future will be, it could pave the way to a very bright one. My guess is that Life as we know it won’t look the same, but it could be even better. With actions that respond to the signs of the time and indicate that we are open to new ways of living more equally, more just, and more inclusive lives, as well as aware of our personal and global impact on our living system, our beautiful mother Earth, it could be wonderful. We really must act now!”
(00:38:55) Libby: “We all have something to give, be it listening, thoughtful listening, money, encouragement, and especially love. By our activism we find a new and rewarding sense of meaning in our lives. Being an activist means working with others with a spirit of goodwill. And to be loving means to help create a world that works for everyone and understands that we are one Earth, one humanity, one spirit, sharing one future.”
“By our activism we find a new and rewarding sense of meaning in our lives. Being an activist means working with others with a spirit of goodwill. And to be loving means to help create a world that works for everyone and understands that we are one Earth, one humanity, one spirit, sharing one future.”
(00:39:30) Libby concluded her presentation and Hollister opened time for questions and comments from the community.
Hollister: I am so appreciative of you reminding me of the value of not seeing retirement as the end of work and activity. You shared with me that you are in an Elders Action Network and you shared with me about that and I wanted to know if you wanted to share with everyone what that’s about.
Libby: Elders Action Network is a growing movement of elders. It’s in its 7th or 8th year now believing and understanding that we elders are living 20 or even 30 years longer than our own parents often did. There was always this assumption that when you retire at 60 or 65 you just play bingo or play golf or do something that isn’t all bad but there is so much more time than just for that. So how best to use our time? In my opinion the world is calling out for seniors especially because we do have this time and we do have some experience. And I also think it was our generation that caused a lot of the problems that we are experiencing today. Not intentionally, looking for a better life, simplifying life, but because of that we have put things in motion that are destroying the planet. So we need to be part of the solution and help undo it. When I heard about this Elders Action Network the term that inspired me was the idea of ‘re-firing’ not ‘retiring’ and I said ‘Yes! Absolutely.’ If I have 20, 30 years to give, I want to be re-fired, I want to do it as long as possible. I want to be all used up.
Hollister: ...Libby if you weren’t able to share your whole story with us, the wisdom that you are offering and the experience is so rich and I would never want that to be retired. I wouldn’t want the wisdom and experience to be retired, because that is actually what fuels and refires me in hearing your story and bringing your experience to every table...I think you were sharing with me that Len said it’s nice to hear these conversations but it’s what happens when you leave the door - it’s what happens when we leave our Zoom room today - what do we do with the wisdom and experience that’s been shared.
Libby: Exactly. He often said you can sit in a living room and have a meaningful conversation and change something within. But once you leave the living room and that’s where it stops it’s almost like it didn’t happen. So he was very big on sharing your experience. So that’s why in the beginning days before we even had a clue how this was going to move forward, he started our website...it’s step by step these things were added. He was a children’s dentist and I was a social worker. It’s not like we were activists automatically. It just sort of fell into our laps and we just kept taking it to the next step and the next step and moving it out rather than staying in with it.
Members of the community offered comments and gratitude for Libby’s sharing, and Libby shared a moving story of her late husband Len Traubman and powerful lessons learned from his final days.
Breakout Rooms
(01:02:53) Closing comments
Libby: “Right now we are living in a time that is extremely challenging. I think the climate crisis is very severe and that we all have to be very aware of it and do whatever we can to be part of supporting change in the way we are living our lives. My feeling is if we had to go back to a kind of an old fashioned system that was a lot less intense with what we use, what we burn, what we buy, what we replace you know life could be better than it is in a way because we know that having more doesn’t make us happier. We know that it’s relationships, it's loving, it’s enjoying nature. These are the things that give meaning in life. The rest is like chasing, it’s an endless pursuit that doesn’t bring happiness. If we could be open to whatever the changes are demanding it could be a very important, very exciting time. But we have to hold on and be faithful and be supportive and work together and be together. My feeling is that it’s always important to work with other people to work in community, to have people who support you and that you support. And have faith in the big picture. Know that we have been given an incredible planet, incredible beauty, and if we can appreciate that and enjoy it we’ll find a way to take care of it. That’s how I envision moving forward.”