"Unsung Hero of Compassion" | Global Connections Call 9.6.23

Sister Marilyn Lacey joined our September Global Connections call to share her journey which demonstrates the good we are capable of when we live into where we are called. The following is a summary of our conversation with Marilyn. To enjoy the full conversation, please click here for a link to the call recording.

Marilyn Lacey, a Sister of Mercy, is passionate about making the world a more welcoming place. She’s been working with displaced peoples since the early 80s. Although she holds a formal university degree, she insists that the poor and those she has served have been her best teachers. For two decades Sister Marilyn directed the refugee and immigration programs for Catholic Charities of Santa Clara County, CA. She has also worked in refugee camps overseas. As the founder and Executive Director of Mercy Beyond Borders since 2008, Marilyn now spearheads innovative programs in South Sudan, Haiti, Uganda, Kenya, and Malawi to lift women and girls up from extreme poverty. Marilyn has also written a beautiful spiritual memoir, This Flowing Toward Me: A Story of God Arriving in Strangers.

Compassion is the foundation of Sister Marilyn Lacey’s work. In a world witnessing great loneliness, overwhelmed by despair, suffering, divisiveness, and violence, Marilyn has felt the call to become engaged in spreading healing and hope. “I’ve always tried to live with compassion, believing we are all connected.”

Years ago Marilyn began reading and learning about quantum physics, specifically the concept of entanglement. At the subatomic level if you effect one element of an atom, it’s partner somewhere else in the world with whom it is entangled will begin to quiver also. “This verifies what those of us in peace work have always known. Whatever happens to my brother or sister ten thousand miles away is affecting me. We can’t have peace in the world until everybody has peace. Building walls is not the answer.”

First visit to South Sudan

Working with refugees in San Jose, California in the 1990s, Marilyn met Bishop Taban who shared about the war in South Sudan. Expressing the desire to know more about the suffering, Bishop Taban invited her to see the challenges in person. Without knowing how to make this happened, a man standing near the conversation offered to support her trip. Upon arrival, Marilyn was “shocked to her core” as she watched some of the tens of thousands of refugees escaping a massacre in search of water. “It changed me. I went from a nun who was chasing perfection to recognizing life was not about perfection. Life is about connection and compassion.” Upon the advice of a friend, she began looking for “friends in low places.”

Marilyn believes that if we are onlookers chronicling what’s going on and not being able to help that this leads us into despair. But once we get engaged, “even if you are making the tiniest difference among friends in low places, your heart expands and there is an inexplicable joy amidst the grief.”

Beginning Mercy Beyond Borders

After Sudan, Marilyn left her US refugee work. She learned that only one half of 1% of refugees ever make it to a first world country. Most remain in refugee camps or otherwise displaced. In place of this work, Marilyn founded a non-profit Mercy Beyond Borders to be with the women and girls who are left behind in war-torn regions. When the civil war ends, there is often escalated violence towards women and girls. Men are no longer employed as soldiers, so they have found unhealthy outlets for their time, energy, and guns.

Working to undo the idea that girls are worth less than cows, Mercy Beyond Borders works to find ways to bring education and opportunity to this unserved population. Their three primary goals are to help girls learn, connect, and lead. The idea isn’t to abandon their heritage, but to receive a good education and return to their communities to share and lead.

These are our mothers, sisters, daughters. They aren’t just far away people.

In her compassionate work Marilyn is inspired by the words Rumi “ Be the one who, when you walk into a room, blessings flow to the one who needs them most. Even if you’ve not been fed, be bread. ” She offers, “We hope for mutuality and change and openness in peace work, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still keep giving, being bread for one another. These are our mothers, sisters, daughters. They aren’t just far away people.”

Mercy Beyond Borders is making a difference where they are, one family at a time. The work isn’t limited to South Sudan; they are also in Malawi, Kenya, Uganda, and Haiti.

Our Community Conversation - Opening our conversation to the larger group, Marilyn received questions about self-care, family support, and how to include the community in this transformative work.

Self-care practices

Peacebuilding is hard work and can often move one into despair. Marilyn explained how she keeps herself nourished and sustained by practicing daily mediation. She works to stay connected to the inner flame inside, to what connects her to the divine. “Without coming back to that center I would feel scattered and disconnected.”

Bringing families onboard

Bringing families into the work of empowering young girls and women is deeply challenging. “I think the change will take another 50 years.” Marilyn explained that the girls are valued beneath that of the cattle. They are currency that is exchanged to get a “bride price.” A son in the family has to have a bride price to marry someone. So, he will typically sell a sister or young girl in the family to obtain cows to pay his bride price. “To interrupt this cycle is quite challenging.” You must do more than change the way a woman is viewed, you have to disrupt an entire system, to change the economy on which the country is based.

Community transformation

Mercy Beyond Borders cannot transform a country’s economy, but they know that investing in the girls will transform how they are valued in the villages. There is a crack in that wall. Families are beginning to see the long-term value of girls.” We must take the long-haul view. “I called it Mercy Beyond Borders because you have to move beyond whatever borders have constricted our lives. We need to cross those, take down the fences, and then lead and advocate for change.” An additional way this could be happening is through a radio show broadcasted locally in South Sudan by Mercy Beyond Borders. The ideas and values shared can perhaps plant seeds of change as it reaches a broader audience that includes boys and men. 

Working with the primary school started by Marilyn’s friend Bishop Taban, MBB looked for ways to extend the time girls spent in school. They started a scholarship program to encourage girls to stay and perform to their highest level with the promise of high school scholarships being offered to those most dedicated and highest performing. The success was twofold - families decided to keep their girls in school longer and students aimed to perform to their highest level. This was so successful that they repeated it at the high school level, offering university scholarships.

One final story

Marilyn closed with one final story of heartache and impact. Working with young girls in South Sudan, she learned of the very real presence of young girls being trafficked by their families. Learning of the schools that teach young girls, these children try to escape to find the school for girls run by Mercy Beyond Borders. Eventually some get to the school. These are girls who know they will never go home again, but also know that their families might come with AK-47s in hand to take them back. “To me this is a portrait of courage…It’s really important to have places like this school. It sustains the change that can happen in their hearts which spills out over time in their country and culture.”

“I feel blessed to be making tiny changes. If there is a little crack, they will walk through it.”

It costs $200 a year to keep these children in school year-round. There are 800 girls (K-8). If you are interested in supporting this work, please visit mercybeyondborders.org