“Letting go is not the same as forgiveness.”
Finding peace to Facilitate Peace
-Irimekyen Salome-
This story makes reference to sexual assault. We recognize this may be challenging to emotionally, physiologically, and psychologically engage with.
“I understand what it feels like to be all by yourself, to be made to feel like you’re nothing. Most people are not living their full potential because of the limitations that come with trauma…trapped by trauma, there are so many trapped dreams and destinies, gifts that the world needs. This is what motivates me.” As a young person, Irimekyen Salome Samuel experienced trauma at the intersection of sexuality, gender identity, and faith. In the middle of a deep depression spawned by these traumas, Salome found a new beginning. This is their story.
Salome’s background:
Salome’s childhood was rife with obstacles. At six months Salome’s father died and their mother was married to their father’s brother (as is custom to their peoples). Living in a new home provided their family with new opportunities and challenges. Salome received a good education becoming the first college graduate in the family, but was asked to leave the house upon completion of their education because of their sexual orientation and gender identity.
Salome faced tragedy with the death of their mother, sister, and brother all in the span of 10 years. And in 2015, Salome was a victim of sexual violence. Despite witnessing death, disease, addiction, sexual abuse and experiencing on-going discrimination and sexual violence, Salome found it necessary to keep going. “Someone has to hold the torch in my family, I see myself as that person. I don’t have the luxury of not keeping on, I have to.”
Grappling with strong feelings of betrayal, vengeance, and hopelessness, Salome spent many years plotting against the two men who had raped them in 2015. In the midst of the intense anger and vengeance, they stumbled upon moments that opened their heart to another possibility. “The more I thought about the kind of pain to inflict on these men, the more my heart kept telling me to let it go. I didn’t understand why at the time. Putting it together now I would say it was the moment that set my path to peace.”
Salome’s path to peace:
The path to peace for Salome really took form in 2021 when their childhood friend reached out to recommend Euphrates’ Peace Practice Alliance (PPA) program. This friend’s outreach came at a moment of deep depression paired with a deep desire to make a change in their life. In late 2022, Salome applied for and was accepted into the 2023 PPA program.
Salome knew that they needed to do more than “let go” of the trauma they had experienced for so many years. “Letting go is not the same as forgiveness. I still carried that trauma. It was during the PPA program that I finally understood what forgiveness is.” Shared during the program, the story of Euphrates 2020 Visionary of the Year, Aqeela Sherrills, resonated deeply with Salome. “..It was the turning point. That was when I forgave my abusers. I decided to focus on being the best version of myself and help people who go through traumas like mine find peace too.”
Over time, Salome found freedom from depression and substance abuse. Being a part of a community dedicated to integrated peace leadership, Salome felt more grounded and began to set a path to serve others. “Most people are not living their full potential because of the limitations that come with trauma. I want to help them the same way the PPA helped me out. I just want to be there for someone. [I want to] tell them I’ve been there and now I’m here, that they too can be here.”
Salome’s journey has been profound and transformative. “I need to become peace to facilitate peace…Through the PPA, I discovered sustainable personal peace practices like mindfulness, meditation, and personal wellness. These practices were instrumental in my healing journey from psychological trauma, enabling me to embrace self-love without judgment.”
Salome’s current initiatives:
Salome founded the nonprofit organization Pride of Sheba that aims to address the pervasive discrimination, stigma, and marginalization experienced by LGBTQIA+ individuals in Nigeria. Understanding that the root issue lies in societal and cultural norms that uphold homophobia, transphobia, and a lack of understanding about diverse sexual orientations and gender identities, Salome is working to collect data on the specific challenges LGBTQIA+ Nigerians face. “This data will help me design an intervention that fits the problem. The solution will integrate peace practices at all the levels of personal, interpersonal, community and global peace practices.” These efforts aim to amplify their voices, contribute to awareness, advocacy, and policy change, and ultimately foster a more inclusive and equitable society.
Additionally, Salome is expanding these efforts into the Kwali and Kuje communities,collecting data on diversity, equity, and inclusion to create initiatives to address the challenges named by local community members.
Salome’s highest vision is to create an environment where individuals feel safe, valued, and connected. “My organization is working towards contributing to a world where violence becomes a thing of the past. Beyond that, I envision myself addressing international conflicts and promoting diplomacy.”